Impressed?
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: Oneshot. Rigby wants to impress Eileen.


He picked up his third can. "How fast do you think I can chug this?"

She frowned. "I think you've had enough."

"Seriously, how fast do you think I can chug this?"

"I don't know."

"Make a guess."

"A minute."

"A minute?" he asked. "Do you underestimate my power?"

"I don't think you have a power."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, I think you've had enough to drink."

"And I think you don't think I can finish this in a minute," he said looking at his can. "Seriously dude just a minute? This can is like the size of my head-"

She cut him off. "I take it, you don't have a very big brain since your head is so tiny."

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry that was mean of me to say," she apologized. "I don't actually think your head is tiny or that you have a little brain."

"Meh whatever." He made a puff noise with his mouth. "So, do you think I can finish this in less than a minute?"

"I think you should stop," she answered. "This is your third can."

"You're just afraid that I'm going to not impress you." He opened his can.

"I'm afraid you'll get more drunk. You're already pretty drunk."

"Am not!"

"Dude, you were singing after your first can."

"I was singing along to the radio."

"The radio wasn't on. You're drunk and shouldn't drink anymore tonight."

"Whatever, prepare to be impressed!"

"Oh dear."

He drowned the entire bottle in about twenty seconds. Then he smashed the can on the counter and held his arms above his head.

"Bam!"

"You're going to feel terrible tomorrow."

"So, are you impressed?"

"No I'm a little more disgusted by your behavior."

"Whatever, I'm going to impressive you somehow tonight."

"Doubt it."

"Challenge accepted!"

"Don't hurt yourself."

"I wouldn't hurt myself." He laughed. "I'm just going to tell you awesome things about myself, and you're going to listen and be impressed."

"This isn't like you. You're really drunk."

"Did I ever tell you that I was on the football team in high school?"

"You dropped out of high school."

"Yeah, but I was on the football team before that."

"No you weren't."

"What? Is that too im-press-ive for you too believe?" he asked breaking up the word impressive.

"No, I just know you weren't on the football team because you can hardly do a pull-up."

He opened up another can and laughed. "Ha, ha, ha. Did you know that I can write my name with my pee?"

"Wow, you're drunk. Is that really something you want to tell a girl?"

He took a drink of his new can. "Oh, and I'm really good at parallel parking."

"Are you seriously going to drink another one?"

He ignored her question. "I could show you my epic parking skills if you want."

"I really don't think you should be driving."

He took a sip of his can. "Hey, do you want any of these?"

"I have to drive home later."

"Oh yeah. Hey did you know that I won a spelling bee in elementary school?"

"What word did you win with?"

"I don't remember. Oh wait, yeah I do! It was C-A-T, cat."

She rolled her eyes. "You just made that up."

"Did not!"

She looked at her watch. Although she loved spending time with him she didn't like the personality he got when he drank. It just wasn't him.

"What time was Mordecai and Margaret going to be back?"

"I don't know."

She sighed. "I think I'm going to go home."

"Dude, you're so unimpressed by me that you want to leave?" he asked. "Talk about cold."

"You're just acting really off."

"I'm going to impressive you. Watch!"

He burped ridiculously loud.

"Uh, okay?"

He sighed. "That didn't impress you either?"

"I just know you too well. You've become too predictable for me."

"So, nothing I did today was impressive to you?"

She thought for a second. "Nope. I don't think there's anything left for you to do that could impressive me."

"Challenge accepted"

"You're not going to do anymore drinking, right?"

"Sure, if that's not impressive anymore then nope." He threw the remaining cans on the table to the floor.

She laughed slightly amused. "Be prepared to fail."

"I wouldn't fail."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I think the years of knowing you have made you predictable to me."

"Well be prepared for the unpredictable."

"What's that supposed to-"

He cut her off by taking off her glasses and giving her a kiss.

"Impressed?" he said after he pulled away.

She looked at him speechless and stunned.

He handed her back her glasses. "So did I impressive you?"

She blinked and then awkwardly put back on her glasses. "Uh…. Yeah… I mean uh… yes…uh," she stuttered pushing her glasses up on her face.

He laughed. "I told you that I wouldn't fail."

"That…. was-"

"Dude, don't get too excited. That kiss doesn't really mean anything."

She grabbed her purse. "I… uh… have to go."

"Where are you going?"

She stood up from her chair. "Somewhere… I… uh… don't know. I just need a walk."

"I'll go with you."

"No! I mean, uh, its okay. You don't need to trouble yourself."

"Dude, it won't be any trouble. I'm bored and feel a little tipsy. Mordecai probably isn't going to be back tonight."

She sighed. "Well, if you insist."

He stood up from his chair. "Cool, so where're we going?"

"I don't know."

"We could go somewhere to get food."

"I'm not really that hungry."

"We could go somewhere where I can get food."

"I think I'll just go by myself."

"But I want to go with you."

"But I don't want to get food."

"Why are you acting all weird?"

"You're drunk. I'm not acting weird."

"Yeah, you are. I've never seen you this eager to leave."

She sat back down. "Ha, ha, the feeling of wanting a walk has passed."

He raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Guess I'll sit here."

He sat back down. "Dude, what's up? This isn't normal for you."

"Nothing's up."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

He took out his phone. "I guess you don't want to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Whatever," he said trying to pull up an app to play on his phone. "Wow, my phone is really confusing and stuff right now."

She stayed silent for a moment. "Okay, there is something that I want to talk about."

"Shoot."

"I'm surprised that you k-" She stopped herself. "I'm uh… surprised about how you impressed me," she said starting again.

He clicked on an app to play. "So, you're surprised that I impressed you. I get it. I just caught ya off guard. I sometimes have that effect on people. "

"What does that make us?"

"Did I change something in our relationship? I told you that it didn't mean anything."

"I'm trying to figure out what are relationship is."

"We're friends and that's it."

"Just friends?"

"Yep."

She sighed. She should have known that the drunk version of him just did stupid things. "Oh…"

He closed the app he opened. "Hey dude, do ya want to do me a solid and order a pizza?"

She stood up from her chair. "I think I should go."

"You're not going to order me a pizza?"

She didn't answer. She just left. Her face was ready to cry.

"Rude."

He sat in the kitchen playing one of his apps. Several levels on a game later one of his coworkers joined him in the kitchen.

"Sup, Skips," he said greeting his coworker. "Do you by any chance have food?"

"What's with all the bottles on the floor?"

"Eileen and I had a drinking party." He laughed. "Well, it was more of a Eileen watches me drink party. So, do you have any food? I'm super hungry."

His coworker opened the fridge. "There's nothing in here."

"Yeah, that's why I asked you if you have any food."

Skips closed the fridge. "Oh, I think I should inform you that Eileen is outside crying."

"Crying?"

"Yes. I didn't ask her about it. She looked like she wanted to be by herself."

He paused his game. "That's weird."

"Do you know anything about this?"

He gave an awkward laugh. "Nope."

"You sure?"

He gave another awkward laugh. "Hey, do you know number for pizza?"

His coworker raised an eyebrow. "So, you don't know anything about Eileen crying?"

"No."

"I'll give you the number for pizza after you check on Eileen."

"Dude, no fair. Why me?"

Skips shook his head in disapproval. "Just ask her why she's crying."

"I don't understand female emotions!"

His coworker sat down. "No pizza number until you talk to Eileen."

"I don't really want pizza anymore." His stomach rumbled.

"Really?"

He stood up and pushed in his chair. "Fine! I'll talk to her."

He walked outside. Sitting on the porch steps was Eileen. Her face was pink and puffy looking from crying.

"Hey," he said sitting down next to her. "What's up?"

Eileen turned her head to look at him. "What do you want, Rigby?"

Rigby looked up at the sky. "Skips wouldn't tell me the phone number for pizza."

"You want me to give you the number for pizza?"

He looked back down from the sky. "Skips said he'll give it to me if I asked you why you were crying."

She sniffed. "You know you can just Google the number, right?"

"Yeah…" Rigby thought for a second feeling somewhat guilty. "Technology looks all weird after my third can and I'm out here already."

"Okay."

"So… uh… why are you crying?"

Eileen took a Kleenex out of her purse. "I'm sorry. I'm a real mess right now."

"You don't look that terrible."

She took off her glasses and wiped her face with her Kleenex. "That's the alcohol talking. I really am a mess."

"You're not a mess."

"Whatever." Eileen crumbed up the Kleenex in her hands. "Do you want the number for pizza?"

"No."

"Okay."

He looked at her and sighed. "Did I do something to you?"

"Seriously?" she asked standing up. "Seriously? You're that freaking oblivious!" She threw the Kleenex on the ground. "Ugh!"

"Hey you shouldn't litter."

"Screw you!"

"What did I do?"

"You kissed me, jerk!"

Rigby picked up her Kleenex. "Oh… yeah… drunk decision."

"And it doesn't mean anything to you!"

He stood up. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? That's all you can say? Sorry?" Eileen walked down the steps of the porch. "I'm going home."

"Eileen! Look, I'm sorry. When I drink I make stupid decisions."

She turned around. "So, that was just a stupid decision for you?"

"Yeah… I mean…. no… Ugh!" Rigby ran down the stairs to join her. "I'm sorry. I don't want to change our relationship. When I drink I end up doing things that I think about when I'm sober."

Eileen blinked. "You think about kissing me?"

"No! Ugh. Stop talking!"

She laughed. "You can be honest with me. Heck, you just seen me at my worse with all the crying."

He sighed. "Okay, the thought has crossed my mind a few times. But, I was never actually going to go through with it."

"Why?"

"Ugh… I don't know. I guess I don't really want things to change." Rigby gave an awkward laugh. "I guess I'm scared of having things change."

She took her glasses off and kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked after she pulled away.

"Things don't have to change if you don't want them too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to give you a taste of what you will be missing. Things will be exactly the same. No kissing or anything."

"Could things be the same plus kissing?"

"It doesn't work that way." Eileen took her keys out of her purse began walking to her vehicle. "Goodbye, friend."

"Eileen! Wait!" Rigby grabbed her arm to stop her. "This is going to sound really unpredictable from me-"

"Oh?"

He let go of her arm and shrugged. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

"Yes!" Eileen gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Yes! Oh my gosh!"

Rigby gave an awkward laugh. "Yeah…"

"You really do impress me, Rigby." She laughed. "Maybe you're really aren't that predictable."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Right."

**A/N **

**I got the cable set up in my dorm, and watched a marathon of Regular Show. That made me want to write a oneshot. And, so I did. This was my first fic in the Regular Show category. So, being my first attempt the characters might be a little OOC. **

**I'm dyslexic, blonde, and America so by the stereotypes provided by the world I should have made a grammar/spelling mistake somewhere. If ya notice anything please point it out for I can fix it ASAP. **


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